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Just because the bank account is down for the count and the casino has already cut up your Visa , don't go home just yet.

You need cash in a flash -- but wanna avoid turning tricks in the parking lot -- so head for one of ZLB's two locations. Presuming you're drug- and disease-free, have strong veins in each arm, lack any recent tattoos or piercings, and can keep quiet about all your illicit trysts, you'll be getting some blood money.

Forget about a repeat bloodletting feat, though, as every plasma bank in the Valley has a hour recovery period, cross-donating is verboten, and you can only get pricked twice in a seven-day period.

Everyone worships the good Lord in his or her own way. On Fridays, Muslims hit the mosque, and on Saturdays, Jews go a-synagoguing. Christians of many denominations make Sunday their day of prayer, and we fall into this category, although our chapel, if you will, is Shepherd's Nite Club, where communion is in the form of a Jack 'n' Coke, and baptism is referred to as "Super Soak-Her," a wet-tee-shirt contest like no other in our Valley of the Sin, uh, we mean, Sun.

Here hot amateur gals and some off-duty pros get nearly nekkid for Jehovah, allowing gallons of very cold H2O to be poured all over their skimpy tops and thongs.

That's when the Holy Ghost takes control, inspiring these heavenly honeys to crawl all over the men in the congregation, and minister to them in a religious fervor known to perform miracles such as raising the dead and making the blind see!

Indeed, we like to think if Jesus comes again, he'll mosey on over to Shepherd's for a cocktail and gander at all this piety on display.

After all, there's no cover, and it beats Bible study, that's for damn sure. After you've rolled the dice or pulled the slot machine handle one too many times -- and you're ready to quit while you're ahead -- ease those aching limbs over to Aji, part of the resort adjacent to Gila River Casino at Wild Horse Pass.

The 17,square-foot spa oozes serenity, from the sleek details of the Native American decor to the sweet, warm fragrance radiating from melted wax diffusers.

There's a salon, a fitness room that's as state-of-the-art as it gets each treadmill and cycle has its own flat-screen TV and tiny DVD player , a pristine outdoor pool just beyond the glass doors, and 17 treatment rooms where you can indulge in all the pampering you can handle.

Try the "Juhk" Aji Rain Facial, 50 minutes of slathering and massaging that'll relax you as well as a full night's sleep, or the "Thash" Native Sun Wrap, where you'll lie in a futuristic steam capsule something new to the Arizona spa scene to let exotic oils melt into your skin before a massage therapist works you into submission.

Save a few quarters for video poker, then start all over again. Hey, loser. Having bet your bottom dollar plus whatever other cash you've "borrowed" lately from kith and kin and busted yet again, maybe it's time for that intervention everyone keeps casually mentioning.

Consider the shrinks at the Tempe-based WinWay Center, if for nothing else but its oh-so-clever name.

While other gambling addiction outfits around town offer touchy-feely terms like "hope" and "wellness" in their monikers, WinWay scores the jackpot with its handle, telling you right off the bat its staff of licensed psychologists and social workers will do their damnedest to keep you away from casinos, dog tracks, and even the Texas Hold'em night at the neighborhood tavern.

After completing the intensive session outpatient treatment plan of cognitive behavior therapy, we're willing to bet you'll be back on the road to fiscal solvency and a more responsible lifestyle.

Sure beats ignoring calls from friends wondering why their high-def TVs have suddenly disappeared.

For those of you who don't play blackjack often and who've never seen the buddy flick Swingers , wherein this gambling maneuver is much discussed, doubling down is essentially doubling your bet in mid-play because the odds are in your favor.

And what's the best time and place to double down in Casino Phoenix? Tuesdays and Thursdays at any of the Valley's six Castle Megastores, where the management runs a rent-two-DVDs-for-the-price-of-one special, allowing you twice the XXX viewing pleasure with twice the adult film stars at the beck and call of your remote control.

This is an important offer for pornophiles because the majority of adult films are not quite as, er, stimulating as you'd like 'em to be, if you catch our drift.

But by doubling your "bet," and taking home, say, Italian stallion Rocco Siffredi's latest release along with a compilation of steamy seductress Tera Patrick's best work, you're more likely to precipitate a jackpot worthy of your wager.

Plus, let's face it, what we're alluding to is a hell of a lot more fun than gambling, right? Long before the Valley began blowing its collective wad out on the reservations, bingo was king.

While some might call it a quaint throwback, a few local venues still offer up the old-school game of chance, with St. Daniel's being the best. This Scottsdale house of worship, which offers games at 7 p.

They're a memorable bunch to boot, like one elderly English expatriate who's been dubbed "Queen Elizabeth" by organizers because of her resemblance to the matronly monarch.

It's not all members of the septuagenarian set, though -- a few ASU hotties have come with their grandmothers, as have one youngish Hispanic couple dressed in some ghetto-fabulous gear.

So if you're up for trying to beat the pants of the elderly, give it a shot. Just remember, the big J. In casino terms, a whale is a big fish with money to burn: a Shamu-size gambler who can afford the fickle fortunes of wagering, while staying in a posh money pit and enjoying all the amenities due someone of his or her stature.

McArthur eventually hired Wright on to the project, too, and the style echoes the principles of America's most illustrious architect. This "Jewel of the Desert," as it's been called, has more than guest accommodations, nearly 80 of which are one- or two-bedroom villas.

In addition, there are seven tennis courts, an hole putting green, eight pools, and so on. Now if they could only fit a real orca into one of the Biltmore's ce -ment ponds, then we'd really be impressed.

Willo rules as a trash-picking destination because it has become a neighborhood of upper-middle-class strivers who repeatedly replace their old stuff with new, more upscale stuff.

Their grail: turning enough of a profit from the eventual sale of their remodeled Willo house to move across Seventh Avenue to tonier Encanto-Palmcroft.

Luckily for the poorer among us, the path of Willo's upward mobility is littered with household goods cast aside for no other reason than they didn't come from Pottery Barn.

Recent trips through Willo alleys yielded a solid wood front door and an oak table. For best pickings, go the week before Willo's quarterly bulk trash pickup, the last weeks of February, May, August and November.

Oh yeah -- technically speaking, Dumpster diving is illegal. And nothing pisses off Willo residents like people trolling through their trash.

Watch your back, and don't pull items out of bins and throw them in the alley. Courtesy counts, even for Dumpster divers. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of use , our cookies policy , and our privacy policy.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements.

A few quick-witted and well-timed jokes are all you need. Keep a healthy balance between your playful side and being serious.

So ask her plenty of questions and really listen to how she responds. Women and men love to feel heard and to feel like someone is genuinely interested in what they have to say.

You never know where the conversation might lead to. Older women are busy and really appreciate the efficiency of meeting a lot of people in a short amount of time.

This is why online dating is a gold mine for meeting amazing older women. We have rated all the top sites to meet an older woman. Out of all the sites we tried, eHarmony and Adult FriendFinder have consistently been our top choices.

There are a few reasons why:. Adult FriendFinder is the best option for hookups - We've tried over different options to pick up older women for a hookup and Adult FriendFinder has blown them all away.

We haven't seen another app work as consistently well for most guys yet. It's strickly for more physical relationships so if you actually want a relationship you should try elsewhere.

Check out their free trial and see for yourself. Their track record is simply amazing. That's just crazy! No other site comes close.

If you want a relationship you have to start with their trial offer here. A cougar is comfortable and confident within herself.

She is able to single-handedly navigate her life. It takes a great deal of independence, courage and discipline to do this, so naturally, these are the traits she desires in a man.

Share a personal story that demonstrates some of these winning traits. One of the most attractive traits to any woman is someone who is honest and completely trustworthy.

Trust me when I say that women love a man who is real and genuine with them. Older women know their bodies inside and out. This means they know exactly what to wear to flatter their best features.

And this is reflected in how they present themselves--from their clothes to their hairstyles and makeup. Keep yourself in shape by hitting the gym and being mindful of your diet and eating habits.

Make an effort with your appearance. That means choosing smart-casual clothes that fit you well but also help you stand out from the sea of other men.

Whatever you do, make sure your clothes are clean and not creased. Older women love the sight of a well-groomed younger man because it helps them feel younger.

Everyone loves a compliment. So if you want to understand how to pick up older women, you need to be able to give compliments with confidence.

The best compliments are always ones that have thought behind them. But it is a line they are likely to have heard times before.

If you really want to impress your older lady, then tell her why you think she is beautiful and interesting and funny.

When you make a compliment look her directly in the eyes. Make sure she knows she has all your attention.

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